S1 Ep2 Family

Meg Cee: Hi, this is Meg

Billy: and this is Billy.

Meg Cee: And we are

Billy: The AdopTwins!

Meg Cee: Welcome to a podcast from two adoptees who are navigating life loss, moving on, and growing up.

Billy: For our adopted friends, we hope to bring you a familiar point of view. And for our friends who aren’t, welcome to the complicated jungle of how we get on.

Meg Cee: Family.

Billy: Yeah. What is family?

Meg Cee: There’s so many definitions of family. Our birth family, there are adoptive families, and then there’s our chosen families.

Billy: Oh, yeah. You have so many different commitments to the idea of family at different stages of your life. But I feel like it’s a little bit different when you’re adopted because there’s that sort of fractured aspect of somebody already left that was supposed to be at least in the mix forever, and I never knew who that person was, those people were, or an entire tribe of people that are out there.

Meg Cee: Right. And what is really difficult with that is it just gives you, unless you do a lot of therapy on it, a warped sense of what a healthy, loving relationship is. Because you’re told all this time that your birth parents loved you and that is why they left you.

Billy: Yeah.

Meg Cee: So if someone loves you, they’re supposed to leave you?

Billy: It opens up a space for at least when it came to my idea of love, that it was best to just model other people’s successes in love just because I always wanted to have a family, be married, have kids. But to get to the point of exploring how I wanted that to happen for myself for many years, decades even, I just didn’t trust the process that I myself and what I love and what I like to do and who I am as a person was enough. I don’t know if you felt that too.

Meg Cee: Yeah. I mean, it’s hard to feel like you are enough when your very first thoughts about yourself is that the people that you’re supposed to be able to trust more than anything left you.

Billy: Yeah. Never to want to see you again.

Meg Cee: Yeah. It’s a hard way to come into the world.

Billy: Yeah.

Meg Cee: So do you know anything about your birth family?

Billy: I have theories, but I don’t have any concrete connections or anything that I honestly have really sought out for a myriad of reasons. But I think most of it comes down to worried about hurting my parents, and I’m afraid of everything that kind of comes with it, with that discovery. What about you?

Meg Cee: I really have no information on my birth family at all because my story basically starts when I am about eleven months old, when I was found behind a marketplace. Through a lot of more recent research that I’ve been doing, I’ve learned that that’s in a lot of ways, a story that a lot of times has been fabricated for a lot of Koreans.

Billy: Really?

Meg Cee: Yeah. So back in the day, for whatever reason, I can’t remember the specifics right now, but relinquishing your child was technically illegal. So even if parents were giving up their child, stories had to be made up about how this child was just found for it to be able to be placed in a new home. It seems like instead of putting in actual information because how it set, it in this article. No information on the mother, no information on the father, no information on the family history, and that’s exactly how my file set up.

Billy: Right, because you don’t even know your actual birthday.

Meg Cee: Correct. I learned that when I was around 14. From when I was younger my adoptive parents said that they were given all this information on how to say words in Korean, because when I first was adopted, I was about two, so I could speak Korean at that point.

Billy: Right.

Meg Cee: And they were given this list of words so that they could communicate with me. They didn’t do their homework, by the way. No.

Billy: Did they have any words?

Meg Cee: One– mother. And that is because every night for a month, I just kept on crying and saying it over and over again. Yeah. So I went on a hunt for this paper, and I found my file, and it said about my abandonment and how my Korean name and my birthday were given to me at the orphanage. And that was quite some news to find out. And my adoptive parents were like, yeah, we’re going to tell you when you are older. I mean, I don’t know what age is okay to find out about that. Hey, happy birthday. You are now 18, so you might not actually be 18.

Billy: We got it on a piece of paper here. That’s what matters. Enjoy your cigarettes. But yeah, honestly, you might not be 18 yet. It’s really hard to tell. It’s one thing for when people don’t know that they’re adopted, and then at some point that talk happens and it’s like, this is how it is, but we love you, and all the ramifications that come with that. But do you have any other friends that have that same sort of story that you have?

Meg Cee: Yeah, actually, I was in L.A. working on a movie, and while working on that film, there were two other Korean adoptees. One grew up in Arizona, one grew up in Minnesota, I grew up in Connecticut and the three of us had similar backstories.

Billy: Wow.

Meg Cee: And then a fourth, someone that I worked in film with in New York, she also had a similar backstory. And she looked into it, and then she found out that there was information about her. She found out where she was actually from, a little bit about her birth family.

Billy: Oh, wow.

Meg Cee: Yeah.

Billy: For me, the bits of stories that I get that kind of drip and drab were more so in some relation friendship or just knowledge of my biological parents and my parents because my dad kind of let it out of the bag that I was essentially an illegal adoption that they were trying to do under the radar and–

Meg Cee: A black market baby?

Billy: Yeah. Kind of like a black market baby, but in plain sight. I think they were taking care of all the hospital bills for my biological mother, and they were taking care of all the doctor’s bills and whatnot, ’cause my folks, they just had issues conceiving, and they had heartbreak after heartbreak. And so an opportunity presented itself where my biological mother wasn’t ready to be a mother, and my mom and dad, they were ready. And so they essentially got to the point where everything was going fine. And at the hospital, on either the day before I was born or the day I was born, the doctor picked up that, wait a second, something is amiss here. And it all had to do with the laws and going through the proper channels. You needed to go through adoption agencies. I don’t know what an adoption agency is. I don’t know what it’s like just because it was never mentioned in my story, I was born. And then you look at the old photo albums. I was in my dad’s arms and that was the beginning. And it was at the hospital and he was going to buy me a Corvette. That’s what he said, I’m going to buy a Corvette. He never bought me a Corvette. He never did. He did a lot more. He brought me an education. But that Corvette would have been pretty sweet.

Meg Cee: How’s that education workin’ it out?

Billy: Oh you know, at least I have a place and I can do a time step. I can sing karaoke really well. Get a couple of free beers out of that, which is good.

Meg Cee: And it got you that job at Costco.

Billy Oh, my God. Doing karaoke for people at Costco. I know this doesn’t have to do with family, but when you really want to have some good times with family, try to buy a karaoke machine at Costco and then bring it to them. I love–

Meg Cee: Or just bring your family to Costco and watch the person doing karaoke trying to sell the karaoke machine.

Billy: Oh yeah, exactly. It’s free entertainment. It’s just like going around to the sample trays, except it’s people who have enough potential to be on Broadway. But instead are singing Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star to a five year old.

Meg Cee: Yes.

Billy: So eventually my dad let this nugget of wisdom out, probably about two years ago, maybe three. And it was just like, news to me that the doctors kept me in the hospital saying that I was sick, but they were actually trying to get everything figured out. And they knew that my parents were paying, so they didn’t care how long they kept me and yada, yada, yada.

Meg Cee: Oh, wow.

Billy: Yeah. But then after that, that was the end of it. There’s no cops coming, there’s no agencies. I guess they were able to sign whatever paperwork they needed to and maybe they got like a slap on the wrist or something like that. You can’t do that. But it’s not like it was a complicated first couple of weeks or months. It was a weird couple of days. And then I was immediately with my family.

Meg Cee: Wow. So you were with your adoptive family from day one then.

Billy: Day one, which I’ve found is actually pretty rare among adoptees that I have met.

Meg Cee: Yeah, yeah, quite a few of them that I’ve been meeting with recently have all been with their adoptive families from about three months. And I’ve been very jealous of that.

Billy: Oh boy, you must be super jealous of me right now.

Meg Cee: I was abandoned supposedly at about eleven months old. So I’m assuming that I was for those eleven months with my birth parents. I don’t think that I was hanging out on the street being it on my own for those eleven months.

Billy: Gosh, I am so stupid because I literally was thinking like, eleven months? How did you survive? Did you like, find a box next to a dumpster? Were you like finding scraps that people were giving you? No, of course you lived with your family.

Meg Cee: I would assume. Who knows.

Billy: Most likely.

Meg Cee: It could go either way.

Billy: It could go either way. It’s just super baby. It’s like someone should really, I don’t know, care for that. Nah, it’s fine.

Meg Cee: I mean, I am a gifted underachiever.

Billy: Right.

Meg Cee: And then I was in the orphanage and I thought I was just in the orphanage and Seoul from the start. But last year when I started really digging through my file, I found out that I was actually in an area called Gwangju, which is in the southwest. And it’s been an area for a lot of protests and a lot of art, a lot of entertainment, a lot of really great food in that area. Three things really into. So I guess all of that has really been in my blood. And another reason why I feel like my parents probably were in the entertainment industry and that’s why they gave me up. Because they didn’t want me to grow up in the spotlight or they were activists and they were put in jail, things like that.

Billy: The truth. I got you. Absolute truth. And then if they at some point do happen to pass on, you’ll finally get that big box of gold that they’ve been putting aside just for you.

Meg Cee: Yes, exactly. Because I am the one and only child that they love more than anything. And that is why they gave me up. And then I was in orphanage and Seoul, and at some point I was in a foster home or two. I don’t know, that part’s a little fuzzy. And by October 22, so less than a year, I was in those three or four places. And then I was on a plane to JFK to meet my adoptive family with a bunch of other Korean adoptees who all came over on a plane together.

Meg Cee: And do you know why my adoptive family chose to adopt from Korea?

Billy: No.

Meg Cee: Ah! Well, my adaptive father had a friend who was looking at adapting from China. She ended up never actually ever adopting from anywhere. So my parents decided to look into the whole China thing, but apparently, adopting from China, you have to go to China to get the child.

Billy: Okay.

Meg Cee: My mother and my father, they both do not like flying. Korea. They bring them over on the plane, and all you have to do is drive to JFK and get the child. They found that to be a much better solution for their problem.

Billy: Oh, my God. Korea is the Uber of children.

Meg Cee: Yeah.

Billy: The Uber eats the DoorDash, the baby dash of the world.

Meg: Oh, yeah. Then I thought about this for years. I’m like, how did they bring all of these children on a plane? I don’t understand how this works. Like, did they just get one plane for all these adoptees and just ship them all over? Like, how does this work? So I was in Korean class about a month ago. And my teacher was discussing how she and her parents were coming to visit her older brother who was in the States, how her, her mother and her father for the whole plane ride. And it’s like a super long plane ride from Korea to the States. I mean I had a stop in Tokyo. I had a stop in Seattle. And then I finally came to JFK. Yes. It’s like a day.

Billy: Yeah. What a day.

Billy: How did they explain this to you? Because this is before video chatting. This is before yeah. Like, the Internet is not a thing, so it’s not like there’s a–

Meg Cee: No, not for regular people.

Billy: consistent communication back and forth of how we’re going to be your family. Do you remember anything about leading up to that?

Meg Cee: I remember absolutely nothing.

Billy: Wow.

Meg Cee: So I’m assuming they just placed me in my adoptive parents arms and that was that. So my teacher tells me how her, her mother ,and her father, for the whole plane ride, all had to hold a baby. And I’m like, what? And she’s like, they were all being brought in America to be adopted. And I’m like, So they just had people who are leaving Korea and coming to the States just all hold babies? She’s like, yes. And I was just like Huh, so that’s how it happened. Okay, thank you for clearing up that question I had for 30 years of my life.

Billy: Oh, my gosh.

Billy: Probably had your own seat and everything. Oh, my gosh.

Meg Cee: Yes. Some random person got stuck just holding me for the entire time.

Billy: And then you’re like, well, this was nice. Maybe you’ll be no, not you. Huh? Oh, hello, my friends. We’re going into your car. What’s happening?

Meg Cee: You people look nothing like any other person I’ve ever seen before. What is happening?

Billy: Never. Never. Maybe on TV. Where are we going? What’s a Connecticut. I speak your language.

Meg Cee: Yup. It’s great. It was awesome.

Billy: I mean, what they do slide meals underneath the door. I can imagine you just being like, I don’t trust anything. I’m staying right here, right now. I’m not doing anything. How long did it take for you to trust your parents?

Meg Cee: I’m not even sure because I know that first month, I just apparently cried and called out for my mother. And I don’t know if that was my foster mom or my birth mom. I have no idea who his mother was that I was looking for.

Billy: Just the concept.

Meg Cee: Yes. Because if it was my birth mother, well, then I must have apparently been calling for her for eleven months at that point.

Billy: Yeah, probably so. I don’t know.

Meg Cee: But I don’t really have any memories until probably like three and a half because I think the first memory I have was probably around fall of when I was three. So probably about a year after that.

Billy: What about uncles and cousins? People your own age that were your same last name? How were you treated? Because kids are like, whatever. Oh, your family now? Okay, cool, let’s go play Barbies and let’s go swimming. Was it kind of like that for you? Or was there what was that kind of like?

Meg Cee: Yeah so on my mother’s side, the next youngest cousin was 18 years older than me.

Billy: Stop it.

Meg Cee: Yeah. And then on my father’s side, the next youngest cousin was probably around that, too. She was in her 20s.

Billy: So you didn’t have any cousins to grow up with either.

Meg Cee: No, I did not.

Billy: No brothers, sisters, no cousins.

Meg Cee: Right.

Billy: And you were put into a strange woman’s arms, shipped from Korea to the United States, and now you have a family and you didn’t get to see any of that money that they probably paid for you.

Meg Cee: Yeah.

Meg Cee: But apparently they didn’t officially become my parents. I found this out in the last year while I was going through my file until a year later.

Billy: What’s that process like then?

Meg Cee: Yeah, apparently they were given guardianship of me, and so if everything went well for a year, then they were allowed to legally adopt me.

Billy: What if they didn’t like you? Would they just send you back to Korea?

Meg Cee: Well, see, that’s what I’m wondering is because how all these kids end up in the system, does that happen during that one year process or does that happen after these children were legally adopted? And that’s a really interesting thing to me. And I’m wondering what would have happened? Would I have then made these connections for a year and then been brought back to Korea?

Billy: Just sat on another stranger’s arms? It’s like they’re wearing a New York Yankees hat. They have like, a foam hand of the Statue of Liberty. And they’re like, well, fine, I can move the foam hand. Come here, child.

Meg Cee: You want to chew on this?

Billy: Here you go play with it. Yeah. When you get back to Korea, they’re like, no, it’s mine!

Meg Cee: Yeah.

Billy: Oh My God, there’s just so many kids that’s just one plane ride, of kids coming over, and you were maybe one of the more fortunate ones.

Meg Cee: Right. The year I was adopted was 1985 that was Korea’s largest export year.

Billy: Just in general or just for adoptees?

Meg Cee: For adoptees.

Billy: Okay. I don’t know if there was a correlation. Silver way up. Aluminum is pretty high also children.

Meg Cee: Yeah. So that year they exported 8837 children.

Billy: Wow. wow

Meg Cee: Yeah

Meg Cee: What was your relationship with your family like growing up?

Billy: It was good because we were in the Navy and because I think especially on my dad’s side, he was really close with his brothers and sister and his parents, too. So family was much more of a tribe in my house than it was a nuclear family. And adding on to that, the Navy aspect, that in my first five years, I lived in Rhode Island before I could start having memories, and then moved down to Florida and lived in, I believe, a trailer. And when my parents had to do stuff I was always getting babysat by either my uncles or the neighbors, and they always sort of kept in touch through the years. And then I lived in another house area over by Jacksonville Mayport area. And then we eventually moved up to Rhode Island when I was five, and that was like, the first time we had spent a significant amount of time in one place, but it was still Navy housing. So we lived at the bottom of a cul de sac, and everybody knew everybody. And I referred to people in the neighborhood, grown ups, as mum one, mom two, mom three, mom four, mom five, dad one, dad two, dad three dad four, dad five. And then there were enough kids in the neighborhood, too, that were all the same age, that not only would we sort of have summers to play and we’d just run over to each other’s houses, but we would then see each other in school and be in each other’s class and get excited about that. And then I got into acting when I was five at a professional theater house. So that also became a type of family as well, because we were grueling through rehearsals and performances, and everybody had to be good because people were actually paying for it. And it was a business, but it was actors in Rhode Island, people were just very tight together. And then my cousins I would see pretty regularly. They lived in Connecticut, so I would see them a lot when they lived there. But then they moved up to Vermont. There’s basically, like, three areas that my family live. Florida, then in Connecticut, then in Vermont. We would spend summers up there. I was close with them, but then also close with the other kids who were going to the lake during the summertime, too. And that just progressed year after year after year. So I was never at a loss for friendship and family growing up. I would say that it was healthy probably one of the most healthy situations that I’ve ever heard any other adopted person having.

Meg: Yeah.

Billy: Like when I got out into the world and started making friends with some other people who were adopted and sort of hearing stories kind of like yours and stories that were even far more like just mind blowingly tragic, it just blew my mind. That just wasn’t how everybody was. And there was no secrets in my family. We all knew there wasn’t anything hush hush about it. I guess it was brought up in fullness with everybody once. And so once that was all done and everybody had a chance to ask me any questions and I ask them some questions, then it was just family after that.

Meg Cee: How old were you when they asked you questions? You asked them questions.

Billy: I mean, before I can even remember, by the time I was, like, five years old, I was completely integrated into the family. The adopted thing didn’t really play a part into who I was as a person so much just because I had so many other things going on.

Meg Cee: Yeah.

Billy: I never really started feeling the weight of it until I got to middle school and high school and then after high school and into college and just being an adult where it’s like, whoa. I never took a moment to just stop and think about how the semantics of this works and maybe how I actually feel about that abandonment thing.

Meg Cee: Right.

Billy: Because treating family like friends and stuff like that and vice versa, it was easy to get involved in a couple of situations where people took advantage of that trust, and that was like a major wake up call when that happened and why that happened.

Meg Cee: Yeah, that’s not good.

Billy: No. But as time has gone on, I really don’t talk to my cousins as much as I used to, but I don’t talk to a lot of friends as much as I used to. So

Meg Cee: Yeah

Billy: Family is the same.

Meg Cee: Yeah. It’s just as I’ve gotten older, my family and I, were never really that close. I mean, I’d see them on the holidays, Easter, Christmas, Thanksgiving–

Billy: Talking about, like grandparents or–

Meg Cee: Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, cousins, that kind of thing. My parents were older when they adopted me. They were in their 40s. And so my mother’s parents died when she was 15 and 20, so I didn’t know them. And then my father’s parents, they were 96 when I was in my late 20s. They were older when I was younger, and all my cousins were in their 20s, 30s, 40s when I was a kid. So my aunts and uncles were obviously older than that. So it’s not that I didn’t like them, it’s just that we didn’t have any reason to really hang out or anything.

Billy: Right. I mean, like, when you’re in your formative years and building connections, you want to go swinging, and they’re like, yeah, we’re going to go to bed.

Meg Cee: Right. So it was just a different dynamic. So I didn’t have that experience. So as I got older, it’s not that I lost touch with them, it’s just that I never felt the need to try to grow that connection. And then with friends I don’t know how to feel about friends as family–

Billy: Okay.

Meg Cee: At any point in my life. When I was five, six years old, there were five girls in the neighborhood that all went to the same school as me. We all hung out all the time together. We were at the same bus stop, but then I switched from the Catholic schools to the public schools, so we slowly lost touch. And then in the public schools, there was a lot of racism.

Billy: Right.

Meg Cee: So I had some friends, but I didn’t really feel close with a lot of them. And then by middle school, it was really bad. I had the nervous breakdown in 8th grade, so I tried switching to a technical school just to get out of the public system in my town. And I got kicked out of the technical school because of I didn’t want to do any of the trades. They said, you’re really smart and you excelled at all of the trades, but there’s kids that don’t have any other options and we don’t have enough space for everybody.

Billy: Oh, my God. Sorry. Smartypants.

Meg Cee: Yeah. So I had to go back to the public school, and there was one person that I stayed pretty good friends with, and we used to hang out after school. She called me, actually, and she asked if it was true that I was coming back, because this girl helped out in the office with all the paperwork and stuff, and she saw my paperwork come through, and I said, yeah, at that time, I would have considered her my best friend. And she’s like, well, now you’re just ruining things for me. And I was like, what? And she’s like, because I hang out with you after school and it’s fine, but now you’re going to come back here and nobody likes you. And we stayed friends until sophomore year. Friendships were always kind of that way, moving through most of high school, moving into college. And I think a lot of it had to do with the abandonment issues and never feeling good enough, worth anything and all of that, which led me to choosing friends who were not the best a lot of the times, and people who would use me in one way or another and just would continue the cycle and perpetuate my feeling bad about myself. So family, I know a lot of people have that, but that was never a big thing for me.

Billy: Have you ever considered the people who you dated did you think that they were like friends or was like, the people you dated something different?

Meg Cee: Oh, back in the day, I used to hang so much hope on the people I dated. There was a lot of pressure on those guys, and I feel really bad about it now that I’ve grown and learned a lot about my trauma. And it was like, oh, this person can save me from my life. This person can give me the family that I need and that I want and that I crave. This person can fix all of the bad and worthlessness that I feel. This person can make me feel whole and make me feel like I’m worth something and not abandon me. And anytime we’d have a fight and they would, like, need to take a minute and leave, and I would freak out and be like, oh, my God, they’re leaving me, too. And then it would be like, well, I need to break up with them because I need to leave them before they leave me.

Billy: Yes, Uh huh. 100%. Wow.

Meg Cee: I would, a lot of times, try to integrate myself into their families.

Billy: Oh okay, so you got to be good with their parents where they like her. And it’s a point of pride to get that compliment of, like, you’re not like the other people they’ve dated.

Meg Cee: Well, I don’t know if it was always I like her, or more like, I just was always there.

Billy: Oh, interesting.

Meg Cee: Yeah. Some did like me. Yeah, for sure. But then there were some that I know didn’t like me, but I just really craved that family feeling.

Billy: And you just weren’t able to get it with your folks.

Meg Cee: No. They grew up in a different time period. They were teenagers in, like, the 50s, early 60s. And a lot of my friends parents grew up in the 80s, so the way that they thought about the world was different, and it was just we clashed a lot on things, and it was very hard to grow up like that and with that. So there were just a lot of fights all the time and a lot of tension, and it made it very difficult. Very difficult.

Billy: Which I imagine makes you more vulnerable when it’s like something starts to go wrong with chosen family at that point, whether it is a relationship or somebody that you thought was cool that’s like, Why are you coming back to school? I really like hanging out with you, and you ruined it. Geeeeze.

Meg Cee: Yeah, that was good.

Meg Cee: Then I realized that the only family that I ever really wanted was to have a child. Someone that I could have my own traditions with as far as the holidays and take on trips with me and travel the world with and teach different cultures to and teach how to be a good citizen of the world. And that is all I need for family. Is just that.

Billy: That’s great.

Meg Cee: Yeah.

Billy: That’s awesome.

Meg Cee: Yeah. My family that I’ve grown hasn’t turned out exactly the way I’d like because I can’t just travel the world, and I don’t have them for every holiday and the holidays I don’t have them for are more lonely than any holidays before he was born but–

Billy: How do you navigate which holidays are which?

Meg Cee: Every other calendar was done of the holidays and every other was done, and then so in even years, these are mine, and in odd years, these are mine.

Billy: Even if it’s not perfect, you’re also giving your child something that you never, ever had. That’s a daily face to face from the beginning with them seeing them through all stages of life. To me, that’s a little scary because I don’t know what that’s like to just to be in that sort of level of intimacy with another human being, somebody that you’re blood with, that you are with all the time.

Meg Cee: Yeah. Because, I mean, for us, we don’t have any other blood.

Billy: Right.

Meg Cee: Unless we have children.

Billy: Yeah. Or convince ourselves that everybody’s just made of the same molecules and atoms, and then we’re all family anyways. But even peeling that away, it’s like, whoa.

Meg Cee: Yeah, it’s a thing.

Billy: Do you find yourself being protective of your child to a point that you didn’t think you would be, or are you just enjoying the ride as they’re growing up?

Meg Cee: Oh, I’m very protective.

Billy: Yeah.

Meg Cee: In a lot of ways. I try to give him freedom and independence in a lot of ways too, in some ways where people probably think that I shouldn’t. But I also am very very protective in a lot of things too, so it’s a tough balancing act, I suppose.

Billy: Yeah, I can imagine.

Meg Cee: So I’ve done two DNA tests.

Billy: Okay.

Meg Cee: The first one I did had four distant cousins. Nothing really came up that but this second one I did, a second cousin came up.

Billy: Oh, wow.

Meg Cee: Yeah. And it took me a while, and I finally decided to message her, and I said, hey, I was wondering if you were interested in corresponding. I noticed that we are supposedly second cousins. And the next day, my phone sent me a notification, and I had a message from her. I was like, oh, okay, let’s see what it says. And she said, yeah, I see you are from Gwangju. My mother’s from there.

Billy: This is recent?

Meg Cee: A couple of months.

Billy: Oh, my gosh.

Meg Cee: Yes.

Billy: What have you guys been talking about?

Meg Cee: Well, it took me a day or so to message her back because I didn’t know what to say. I mean, there was so much I wanted to say, but I was also, like, freaking out.

Billy: Yeah.

Meg Cee: So it took me a moment, but I did finally message her the next day, and I had said because about me had said that I was adopted and that’s the only information I have, blah, blah, blah. I said yes. I don’t know much beyond that. It sounds like you grew up with your birth family. Question mark. And that was April 2. And then May 21, I wrote her again and I said, Hi, Julie. I hope you have been well. I hope I didn’t scare you off last time I wrote you. I figured I would just come right out and ask. Have you heard of any distant relatives giving up a child for adoption back in 1984? And that’s been that.

Billy: And we’re a little out of a week from that currently as we’re talking?

Meg Cee: Right.

Billy: No wonder you have insomnia. There are times when you’re looking for a new job and you’ve had an interview, and you’re like, just see if I got an email yet. No, but this is, like, about to blow open your entire world to your blood.

Meg Cee: Yeah. Like, Julie is the gatekeeper.

Billy: No pressure. Julie, if you’re listening, no pressure. No pressure whatsoever. Meg’s not putting undue pressure on you to fulfill a need, the person to person connection. She’s learned she doesn’t do that anymore. She’s got her boy. Everything is fine.

Meg Cee: I take my medicine daily.

Billy: Exactly. Oh, man. Obviously, keep me posted on that, because that’s massive.

Meg Cee: Yes, anytime. 23 and me alerts me of anything. I’m always like, oh, let’s see if it’s a message back. No new connections. Oh. And all of them are distant relatives. Oh okay, great. There’s another DNA testing one that apparently I found out is one that a lot of Koreans in Korea use.

Billy: Oh, wow.

Meg Cee: Yeah. So I am going to try to order that one.

Billy: I mean obviously.

Meg Cee: Yeah. See what I can get from that. But, I mean, if these people don’t want to be found, they’re most likely not doing DNA tests.

Billy: I’d imagine. Yeah, they definitely are like, well c’est la vie! Covid changed everything in my life. Might as well begin the connections, blah, blah. Aww man. All right, I think, on that note, thanks for listening, everybody.

Meg Cee: It’s been great.

Billy: Thanks for bearing your soul, Meg.

Meg Cee: You too.

Billy: Of course. And I’m sure we have an outro that we’ll use at this point.

Meg Cee: Yes. That will wrap things up.

Billy: Yeah.

Meg Cee: That’s all we’ve got for this week.

Billy: Thanks for listening

Meg: To our fellow adoptees. We hope you know that you have a safe space with us. And for our friends who aren’t, we hope you’ve learned a bit more about life as an adoptee.

Billy: If you’d like to help us out, leave a review, and we’ll catch you next time.

Meg Cee: The AdopTwins is produced by CS Creative Studios

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: